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Dec 2020
The math, the scent, the tears…
A couple of ears and two eyes that aren’t willing to see
What we’ve prepared for today!
- Hey, sister! Would you see us!?
- Hey, teacher! Could you care about us?!
- Hey brothers, did you ever embrace a cruel song
And let it tare apart your entire soul?

An arbiter of splendour
Was sitting on a bench,
In silence waiting for his times
To come and take away
All pains.

An arbiter for love and your great dance
Eternal!

"I was never good enough for you,
Never doing what you wanted me to do,
I’m quite proud of that right now
Since it kept keeping me away from that pesky debt you had to carry on with!”

Eternal dance of love
And passion for the poor
That’s rich in kind but sorrowful unreachable goals!



Two dots on a sot verticality
Asking for more:
Destroy all the planet, destroy us all!
We got tired of living
What you wouldn’t call
Neither life nor living!

Two dots for a fellow and one for my soul;
Two, one after the other and the third in a row
That sometimes separates two types of worlds.

“- I am feeling a bit sad and disappointed; I must have felt that I was much more and much better than I really am!
- I understand, we all get to feel tired and crushed sometimes. Just don’t let anyone get to you! Many will try to hurt you. Just don’t let them do that again, that’s all!”

A penny for the poor,
Starvation for a fool
Trying to live a life
According to the rules
Of saints!
- You’re not a saint, you girl-dude!
And even if you were! What do you think it’ll serve you for?
We’re all above and helping each-other!
- While you all think it is better that way… the poor way!
- Than what? Our struggle?
- Oh, please! Give me a break! We do not struggle!

Are you much more of a man now?
Oh, pardon me, I was such a fool back then, to trust you
And to love you with all my ‘rotten’ soul!
This cold forgotten soul…

Are you much prouder than before?
Are you successful?
I know I know! I admired your entire carrier!

I should probably **** myself, just now
But I guess that I am too ******* proud
To do so.
Are you still proud of your soul and your wonderful goal?
I know that I am of mine!
I should probably commit suicide.
But not until I get less ashamed with who and what I am;

~ I Mean the loser someone planned to make of me and got to make me be ! ~

Much too carefully!
Much too shamefully!

Oh, my!
The Freak-in’ Carbonite kicked in!
I must get it out on the screen!

After that I’ll try to organize those showers for the angels;
Propeller pins and cosy sins
Already happening

why bother?
It’s on them!

Brutally honest with myself:
I find my old journals a bunch of idiotic steam material.
God, I hate myself for not being… stronger!

Yet I must confess:
I love myself more than anything in the world!

“I’ll be the spit in your face if I have to!
she yelled back at him
You traitor!
You must be joking now, dear!
a choir they join both saying:
- Aurevoir, dear!



I prostrate myself
In front of your greatness,
Too grateful for the little I got to accomplish
And give thanks to the Greatest of Lords!
.
“Are you much more of a man now, that you killed them all?”



A missing point that was completely unknown
To the public
Got out meeting people and feeling them all
Just like a believer.

“I need you and I want to be needed too!
I Miss You!"

A moon and a missing point looking for sun-warmth and half a cup of solitude.
© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu, first published in September 2018
Theodora Oniceanu
Written by
Theodora Oniceanu
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