sometimes i wake up with the stars i mapped out
caught in my eyes,
other days its a silent panic-
how many times have i had to fear my friends?

sometimes, like you, i hate the pet-names;
the way they crawl under my skin
as an excuse to not butcher mine.
but i would melt like wax wings to be your ‘baby’
just once, won’t you let it slip off your lips?

like honey?
like amber i'm begging to be trapped in?

how long has it been since my soft skin has been touched?
how long has it been since i last felt compassion
in the form of exploring hands
and gentle whispers?

so beautiful, so soft, so willing to listen to me as i

fall
like putty
into your hands.
into a love,
no longer mine-
oh, what would i give to be a lover?

lips full, never kissed
eyes open, never seen
ready to listen, but no words are spoken
no sweet nothings, but arms wide open.

what would it mean
to be held,
as the sun began
to rise again?

if i’m doomed not to sleep,
might i do it
with your name in mind?

if i’m cursed to stay awake,
talk to me until
the sun is in our eyes?

i would melt like wax wings.

would you have me then?
would you take my hand,
with the sweat on my brow?

would you have me now,
so bruised and tired?
with dark circles to balance
my rose-tinted outlook?
won't you hold my weary hand?
don’t be shy.

don’t pretend;
we both know i’m caught between daydreams.
aren’t you nothing but a hallucination?
i’m certain i’ve made you
up in my mind.
don’t be shy… don’t be shy.