i can just imagine how things would end up, me being a little more than hesitant to even consider vocalizing myself "Live" to dozens of listeners
—me—
starting out on a platform in some school gymnasium just a short million miles away from the safety of my writing cubical deep inside a worm hole underneath my domicile
im sure that a few in the crowd will wonder what this thing is doing there, my thin, shaky form walking erratically to center stage with a tablet in one hand and a cup of water in the other—
well, it could be *****..
the microphone will be way too big for what little i have to say, commencing with an unsteady vocal that many will find indistinguishable from man or woman,
the rhythm should get better after the first of several stanzas, but i will have already spotted the ombudsman standing near the emergency exit listening in—
just as i feared,
and as our eyes meet, his expectation of structure and rigidity will boil me down to the hardwood floor, reducing me to the basic size of a Cornish hen,
spun lengthwise upon his rotisserie, roasting away as a smoldering torso from his slow hand-cranked rotations
over the campfire which he will light his cigarettes from, leaving me choking from the smoke of his evaluations as i drip into the cinders and evaporate along with most of my self ~esteem..
i realize that he'll just be some ghost that has haunted my every attempt at simple boldness,
but i know he is gonna be right there if i ever climb up to laser like stares and the wide-open ~hears~ of kindred poets and curious ears,
an easy fellow to pick out—
he will be the one holding my neck in his hands...