The chasm in my chest won’t fill
It just aches and grows
As more and more of me is lost
In the abyss

And tonight the emptiness is so deep
It’s so strong that nothing feels right
Consistently disappointed
Everything within is lacking
I need something
I can’t say precisely what
But it’s likely it got lost somewhere
Within the chasm

I might pour alcohol into it
See if I can find the bottom somewhere...
I’ll probably end up feeling like ****
But that’s a price I’m glad to pay
If I can be genuinely happy for a few hours
Where I can feel my smiles in my heart
And they aren’t just painted on my face

If I can’t fill it with alcohol
I’ll fill it with blood
Doesn’t really matter how long it’s been
I can cut again
Shock myself into reality
Drag myself out of the fog
I’m not so used to it anymore
It probably won’t take much
Just a few wild slices
A few drops of blood
And a sharp wince
As I realize what I’ve done