So it ends. Life

After I heard your Good News. I said —
I had to step out.
My chest heaves.

Left everything inside.
Passport. ID. Savings.

I said: Wait, I will be back soon.

Eyes said. You broke my heart.
Everything is yours.
Do with them whatever you please.

You don’t get it. You smiled.
I can’t wait for tomorrow. You said.
I said: Sure tomorrow.

Do you not see the cracks in my smile.
The fissures of where it’s broken.
Inside my wrinkles of two decades chasing, now lost.

Step out into the cutting air
Step in out of breath in my car in a weather so fair
Tears slithering past sniveling grovel ground
I use everything I own
to buy a ticket for Elsewhere

I lived like nothing. Eating scraps.
Days clone into nights.
I dreamt of nothing.
Bug bites and frosts rise.

A good news it is.
So it goes, I left
Haven’t turned back for twenty years.

You come back to me in dashes
Fractured sun streams
Gregorian chants
I say.

I said.