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Oct 2020
So, I fell in love. I know, I know. I said being love as a teenager was stupid, and how promising yourself to someone this early was stupid. But I did it. Past me would have been laughing so hard. I said I saw him in my future, we’d create a life together that was amazing.

I loved him for everything he did not love about himself. I will brag and say that I treated him best (compared to his exes so far). I would have accepted any changes that happened to him while we grew together.

But before any of those things could happen, he just left. ****. In a snap he left me with a burning memory in my mind that I did not want to forget, and yet I knew I should. He left me wanting him every night, and yet I could not contact him. He left me, knowing how much I loved him and how much he loved me. Did I even mean anything?

Once something is over it’s hard to really believe it is. You just want it to go back to normal. You have no knowledge on the reason you ****** up.

I’m not mad at him though. I love him too much to be mad at him. I wished him all the best, hoping he would receive all the love that he deserves. I know I treated him the best, but I am sure that someone else will come along and treat him better.

Loving him was exquisite. Everything and nothing existed all at once.

It’s hard to forget such good memories. But I never said I would. I will remember the good, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

I am slowly forgetting that he used to consume my days, and all I would do was talk to him. I am slowly forgetting his voice at night, saying I love you as I drift off into sleep. I am slowly forgetting the laughs we shared together and how I couldn’t see anyone else in the future.

I am slowly forgetting him, and I am sad that I am.
I don’t feel anything, is this finally moving on
Ila
Written by
Ila  20/F/Philippines
(20/F/Philippines)   
127
   Ila
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