I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled. But she dumped me flat on my *** when she learned her leg was being pulled. Because she didn't like the deception, I didn't receive a friendly reception. She thought that I was well-endowed, that is what she believed. When she learned the truth, a broken nose was what I received. She also crammed a lit pack of firecrackers up my *** and it sure did make me jump. Now it hurts like hell every time I take a dump. She dumped me even though I decided to get down on my knees and beg. If you're a man and if you want a girlfriend, don't tie a sausage to your leg.