I can’t seem to get sleep today. I’m thinking about us.

Being friends with you has always felt different. As another friend of mine puts it ‘You look like you’re over the moon, around him.’ And it couldn’t be truer, I feel it too.

We are always together, during the break or while hanging out or wherever. I can’t seem to remember what my life felt like, before you happened.

I find myself looking for reasons to touch you. No, mister, that brush against your hand wasn’t unintentional. Don’t you ever believe that.

When it’s time to say goodbye, I see your eyes searching mine. I see your emotions clash, so do mine. And I see us wanting to do nothing about it.

I see us, in the distant future, old and wrinkled, carrying a baggage of regret.

Yesterday, I looked into the mirror and asked myself this question: ‘Are we mad?’ And I swear, I felt like a total sucker.  

And yes, we are mad. For finding something beautiful and not stopping by to appreciate it. For holding this incredible piece of treasure and trying to shove it all away. For feeling this lovely emotion and attempting to shun it.

Whatever you do, whatever you say, makes me want to laugh a little harder, love you a little deeper and trust you a lot more than I’ve ever done anybody.

That day you told me this ‘Love is nothing but wanting to be the best version of yourself for that special somebody.’ And that’s exactly what we are, to each other, our finest of the finest versions.

And yet we do not want to realize the truth, hanging between us like a ghost.

Are we so blind that we can’t recognize love even when it stares at us full in the eye?

Yes, sir, love finds you. But only if you’re willing to let it in.

So next time someone asks me if I have a thing for you, I will say ‘Yes, I do.’ Then I’ll sneak behind you and give you a big hug. I’ll hold your hand and tell you that you are not just a friend. That you are something more.