i wish i was hidden away somewhere in your mind
along the string of memories that come forth every once in a while
snuggled in between your first heartbreak and the time you knew you wanted to stay alive
i wish i was the thought you slept on
that split second when you wake up and everything is okay in the morning
your calm before the storm and your calm after
your go to
your lifeline
your lifetime.

i threw in my pennies and dimes hoping to hear a chime
that turns into a ring
that turns into a “hello, i miss you”

i drown in the thought of you
until my face turns into a purple hue
i know you never meant to bruise my heart and turn it black and blue
i spoke to God about you
hoping my prayers would get through
but God doesn't exist to you

i wish you knew
maybe you do
maybe this wasn't so hard for you
i know you think this wasnt right
but here i am writing to you
letters that are long overdue

i think about you on most days
some more than others
sometimes i hide under the covers
hoping i might fall asleep and meet you in my dreams
where i dont feel like i need to stay upon this balance beam
hanging above distant memories that are falling apart at the seams

the sound of you, it fades with each passing day
i'm left wondering whether i should mourn your loss or just rejoice and walk away
if you asked me to, i would have stayed
left everything behind and walked your way
but you never asked
you never called
and it seems as though you never will

all i ask i that you come
meet me in a café somewhere
over there where faces are unfamiliar and everything is new
i bet you my life you wont recognize me
i am now the product of you
or rather, the lack of you.

so i tried to say goodbye
but my words tumble upon one another as they pass through the lump in my throat
i stutter  
all i am able to say is
my last penny goes out to you
this is our wishing well
i wish you well