"I cannot afford to miss you anymore, to soak in my tears any longer, my body pruned, and wet. I hoped to drown. Which I did, In the memories of you. It seems as if I suffer more and more as time passes. Watching as the sky turns gold to grey in what seems as a matter of seconds, I’m too lost to count the numbers on the clock.

I can almost start to say “its been years” I think that’s what pains me the most, to watch as the seasons change, to see this world without you by my side, to lose my balance and fall, because you're too far to catch me.

You’ve been in the corner of my eye daily, fleeting glances of your back as you walk on by puts weight onto my chest. I slow my tired bones in hope to catch the look on your face, then other days I’m practically sprinting when I see your feet under the crack of a door. It hurts so much that when I begin to start thinking about it I begin to get a headache. I’m then frantically thinking of all the memories of us, all the words, all the touches, everything.

My brain is constantly tired from discarding newer memories just to remember what we ate one year, three months, two days, and sixteen seconds ago, together.

I let it hurt, I think thats what I’m afraid of most; forgetting you, I almost did and realized it was chaos. I ached terribly at first, but it had yet to reach my body physically, now I shake, my heart beats frantically looking for a way out, if only it could leap out of my chest, just to get away from you, it clenches tightly when you’re mentioned because the very essence of your stupid name tears it apart all over again."