Apr 2020
Sometimes, to love feels like surrendering to a war that never occurred.
Sometimes, to love feels like fighting for an illusionary victory.
Sometimes, to love feels like being trapped in somebody else’s life.
Sometimes, to love feels like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle while missing most pieces.
Sometimes, to love feels like being addicted to a drug.
Sometimes, to love feels like being in the middle of a sword fight without a shield, a sword, nor an armor.
Sometimes, to love feels like walking on a tightrope without a safety net.
Sometimes, to love feels like running to stand still.
Sometimes, to love feels like abandoning oneself.
Sometimes, to love feels like carrying a burden.
Sometimes, to love feels like smashing the little toe against the strongest and sharpest corner.
Sometimes, to love feels like being haunted.
Sometimes, to love feels too much like hating.
But to love is also to share passionate moments.
To love is to add spices to an otherwise bland dish.
To love is to repeatedly stimulate bursts of dopamine.
To love is to escape loneliness.
To love is to find joy in despair.
To love is to be optimistic.
To love is to live a dream out of a nightmare.
To love is to become a more complete person.
To love is to go on a wonderful trip without a definitive destination.
To love is to become wiser.
To love is the best placebo.
To love is to open.
To love is to be loved.
To love is to live.
Sometimes, to love feels like fighting for an illusionary victory.
Sometimes, to love feels like being trapped in somebody else’s life.
Sometimes, to love feels like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle while missing most pieces.
Sometimes, to love feels like being addicted to a drug.
Sometimes, to love feels like being in the middle of a sword fight without a shield, a sword, nor an armor.
Sometimes, to love feels like walking on a tightrope without a safety net.
Sometimes, to love feels like running to stand still.
Sometimes, to love feels like abandoning oneself.
Sometimes, to love feels like carrying a burden.
Sometimes, to love feels like smashing the little toe against the strongest and sharpest corner.
Sometimes, to love feels like being haunted.
Sometimes, to love feels too much like hating.
But to love is also to share passionate moments.
To love is to add spices to an otherwise bland dish.
To love is to repeatedly stimulate bursts of dopamine.
To love is to escape loneliness.
To love is to find joy in despair.
To love is to be optimistic.
To love is to live a dream out of a nightmare.
To love is to become a more complete person.
To love is to go on a wonderful trip without a definitive destination.
To love is to become wiser.
To love is the best placebo.
To love is to open.
To love is to be loved.
To love is to live.
This title is material proof of my chronic deficiency in creativity and imagination. The original title was "to love" but I found it too easy and too obvious which is quite different from actual love, complicated and thrilling in essence. The next title I went for was then "evolot", "to love" backwards, but unfortunately, the feeling was the same. I needed something better. I was looking for anagrams that would be meaningful but I couldn't find anything. There was vel, a river in Russia. I could have tried something with "evolve", which could have worked in a way. Maybe "too" something then? Love does feel too much sometimes! But too much what? That's a question that will be left without answer, at least for the time being. Out of desperation, I decided to just write the different letters, spaced on the page and stared at them for a few seconds that could have been hours. I saw "tolv", twelve in Swedish. For a reason I can't explain, I liked it. At this point, I had all the letters except one "e" and one "o". I went for tolv o'clock, because that's kind of a time at the interface. It's not really morning anymore, but it's not the afternoon yet. It's in the middle of two states, not complicated but close enough. At this point, I was still missing the "e", that's when I went for time. That's how "to love" became "time at tolv o'clock". Interesting, isn't it?
