Apr 2020
It berates the ears and resonates louder and louder,
As it continues to cooperate with one another.
It lets the noise bounce back and become even louder.
Drowning out all that is clear,
Drowning out all the good that has been building up over the years.
DROP, DROP, DROP, globules cascading down in rhythm with the problem at hand.
Gripping tighter and tighter strangling out the PLAN.
Wishing that the water would at least fall on someone else,
But it keeps moving over my head, dropping the wet when the skies are clear.
This water is louder when the sun draws near.
The voices get louder when light pierces through the dark.
TAP, TAP, TAP, goes the drum inside of my head.
But the tapping is not enough to drown you out when you are together.
I am done.
I am finished.
I am passed up for things that I would love to do.
I am passed up for things that could be good for me.
I am a glorified babysitter.
Watching and never acting.
Being disrupted all day long, when I'm just trying to help.
The voices destroying the inner circle of my soul.
As it passes me by.
As the jealousy unfolds.
Wishing that it would break down, or the opportunity would present itself to me as well.
I am falling down, crying, tearing at my skin, hoping for the EXHAUSTION to go away.
And then it crawls down the spine.
Inserting needles in every vertebra.
Wanting to trigger the nerves, in its own sadistic way.
PINCH, PINCH, PINCH goes the needle over and under the skin.
It warps the images of goodness into a platoon,
A platoon of soldiers, whose only goal is to **** steal and destroy.
As I stare up to my Father asking, "Will today be the day?"
DROP, TAP, PINCH the water hitting his hand that he uses on the drum stick to plunge the needle deep.
This noise loves to make its home inside my head.
The venom crawling up through my back and weighing me down like lead.
Distorting my views and asking me to change lanes.
A vice that forms from blood clots in my brain.
I am done.
I am finished.
I just want a moment to breathe in some good.
I just want to look forward to what's ahead.
DROP, DROP, DROP
As it continues to cooperate with one another.
It lets the noise bounce back and become even louder.
Drowning out all that is clear,
Drowning out all the good that has been building up over the years.
DROP, DROP, DROP, globules cascading down in rhythm with the problem at hand.
Gripping tighter and tighter strangling out the PLAN.
Wishing that the water would at least fall on someone else,
But it keeps moving over my head, dropping the wet when the skies are clear.
This water is louder when the sun draws near.
The voices get louder when light pierces through the dark.
TAP, TAP, TAP, goes the drum inside of my head.
But the tapping is not enough to drown you out when you are together.
I am done.
I am finished.
I am passed up for things that I would love to do.
I am passed up for things that could be good for me.
I am a glorified babysitter.
Watching and never acting.
Being disrupted all day long, when I'm just trying to help.
The voices destroying the inner circle of my soul.
As it passes me by.
As the jealousy unfolds.
Wishing that it would break down, or the opportunity would present itself to me as well.
I am falling down, crying, tearing at my skin, hoping for the EXHAUSTION to go away.
And then it crawls down the spine.
Inserting needles in every vertebra.
Wanting to trigger the nerves, in its own sadistic way.
PINCH, PINCH, PINCH goes the needle over and under the skin.
It warps the images of goodness into a platoon,
A platoon of soldiers, whose only goal is to **** steal and destroy.
As I stare up to my Father asking, "Will today be the day?"
DROP, TAP, PINCH the water hitting his hand that he uses on the drum stick to plunge the needle deep.
This noise loves to make its home inside my head.
The venom crawling up through my back and weighing me down like lead.
Distorting my views and asking me to change lanes.
A vice that forms from blood clots in my brain.
I am done.
I am finished.
I just want a moment to breathe in some good.
I just want to look forward to what's ahead.
DROP, DROP, DROP
Sometimes you find yourself in situations that make you wonder why you have been out there.
