I don't know what's worse the darkness or the light
Because I lose who I am in the darkness
But the light shows me just what I've become
And I feel like I'm stuck spiraling down a bottomless whirlpool
Clawing at the currents, being pulled down by the quicksand
Too fast to get back up, but slow enough to feel and regret every choice I've made up to this point
My best is never enough at the moment, but in retrospect I've been told it's more than satisfactory
But that's not enough for me, is instant gratification too much to ask for?
Not a pitiful "you're doing just fine" when they see me self destructing
Not a last throw of compassion when they see me fighting my fear to fall
Every day the light makes me hate myself more
And every night the ever embracing darkness just seems that much more tempting.