My words are a guillotine
and you willfully put your head
underneath it.
I know ******* you.
It'd be so easy.
A simple word here
a phrase there
and I'd destroy you.
Leave you doubting yourself
doubting me
and feeling guilty for it.

My hands touch you
make you plead for more.
I want to freeze sometimes
to just stop.
Maybe even to leave.
I want to leave your wondering
what you did wrong.
I want to break your heart.
Because this is what I do.
I leave things, people,
in pieces.

Only once in a blue moon
do I wish to destroy
to break
to shatter.

Sometimes,
it's not you I want to hurt
it's me.
I want to destroy myself
from the inside out.
That includes hurting you
beyond repair.
If I make you hate me
I'll have no reason not to hate myself.

You know when you're holding
something precious
like life in your hands
say
a frog
and you have the fleeting thought
to crush it between your fingers?
That's what it feels like.

That's what this feelng is,
isn't it?
Just a small thing
destined to go away.
I don't realy
wholeheartedly want to hurt you
or anyone or anything
really
I don't.

I just want to know
what you'd say
what you'd do
if I could ever make you cry
If I could completely break you.

Part of me
knows how wrong this is
how I shouldn't be wonderng about this
that wanting to **** something
or destroy it's spirit or heart
probably makes me a sociopath
but I'm not sure if I care.

I want to be compared
to a black hole.
I want to make everyone hate me
see how ugly I really am.

I want you to wish you'd never met me.

Self-destruction is a terrible thing,
isn't it?
When you've got nothing left
and you're all on your own
you have no means to go on.

I wish I didn't have you by my side,
but then again,
I never want you to leave.

I wish to God I could be taken
from this earth
but I want to stay with you forever.

Baby tell me
I'm okay.
That I'm not insane.
That you'll love me no matter what.
Because I'm scared of what I'm capable of.

I'm scared of hurting you
purposely or otherwise.

This guillotine
doesn't want your head
to be there.
It wishes you would move,
save yourself.
Pull away.

But you don't.
You stay in the blades path.
And as it goes down
so does my heart.

I wasn't created to destroy.