I don't know that most people
believe me
when I say I've changed.
I took surviving my suicide attempt
as an opportunity
to try and never get to that point again.

I realized
how lonely
my body was,
with my heart so far away from it.

I crashed back into myself,
and felt the sting in every
nail bitten
finger tip.
Inspected all the sore parts of my body,
touched my temple
and let myself think again.

I've been walking around
as a body
with the rest of me dragging behind,
Because I wanted to hurt less,
but so
much
more
damage was done.

Yet,
it's still better to be back
and feel the pain
than it was to run away.

I tell people I've changed
but they don't know
that crashing back into myself
changed me so much.

I took what could have been an end,
and made it give me new life.