there is no way to describe it.
i am flying, high above my problems
but also drowning helplessly in them.
my nerve endings are alight,
tingling with electricity
like a live wire right before it shocks.
i am engulfed by flames of a fire i lit,
red, hot, uncomfortable
yet everything is a hazy, euphoric lilac.
i can't breathe. but i don't need to.
my chest feels like it carries ten kilos,
but i am weightless
light-footed,
as though you need to hold onto me
or else i will float off.
i can't focus. not on me. not on you.
the world is spinning out of control
so hold me.
hold me until i come down,
slowly,
but please,
don't let me fall.