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This Is Me

This isn't what you wished

Upon that small baby

This isn't what you wished

 

This isn't the head you kissed

The head of that baby

This isn't what you kissed

 

This isn't what you held

The weight of that baby

This isn't what you held

 

This isn't what you smelled

The scent of that baby

This isn't what you smelled

 

This isn't what you felt

Felt for that baby

This isn't what you felt.

 

This isn't how it was supposed to be

This isn't what you imagined

This isn't what you meant me to see

The isn't what you'd bargained

 

This isn't the life you choose to live

This isn't the trust you chose to give

This isn't the love you once entrusted

This isn't the marriage to which you'd come in

 

This isn't the daughter you once knew

This isn't the love you walked into

This isn't the hope you'd had before

This isn't the love in fairytale's lore

 

This isn't at all what you expected

This isn't at all what you should have collected

This isn't the right end for an angel

This isn't, as it seems, quite so fatal

 

But this is me

Imperfect glory

Oh, this is me

With a sad, sad story

 

This is me

Timeless and dying

This is me

The blood I'm crying

 

This is me

The failure's jive

This is me

The end of a life

 

This is me

On sanity's cliff

This is me

Ready to drift

 

This is me

Desperate and wanting

This is me

Pretending and flaunting

 

Yes, this is me

Your youngest daughter

And it's not at all what you wanted

My dearest mother

 

This is me

The smoke, the pain

This is me

For loss, for gain

 

This is me

This is that baby

This is me

Now a young lady

 

This is me

Looking for love

This is me

Small and starstruck

 

This is me

On the wrong path

This is me

Treading on broken glass

 

This is me

Begging for help

This is me

****** to hell

 

This is me

Waiting to be saved

This is me

Turning away

 

This is me

Nearing Death's door

This is me

Saying I can take no more

 

This is me

With smoke in my lungs

This is me

Absorbing the sun

 

This is me

With knife in hand

This is me

Enjoying the land

 

This is me

Pleasing those men

This is me

Washing my hands

 

And this isn't what you wanted

And this is why you cry

And this isn't what I expected

And this is why I wish to die

 

Oh, this is why my mind is unclean

This is why you weep

This is why we couldn't foresee

And this is why I can't sleep

 

This is why the night is frightening

This is the absence of hope

Yet this is why we live

And this is why we cope

 

And this isn't life

This is unidentified

And this isn't strife

This is why we live and die

 

Maybe this is a maybe

Maybe this is uncertainty

Maybe this is a per say

Maybe this is you, is me

 

Yes, maybe this is human

Though this is inhumane

Maybe this is *******

And cannot be contained

 

Maybe maybe is uncertainty

Maybe maybe is insanity

Maybe maybe is a waste of hope

Maybe maybe is the knife at our throats

 

This is me

With a ring on my finger

This is me

With a kiss on my lips

 

This is me

With a love that lingers

This is me

With a sway to my hips

 

This is my reflection

So pretty, so ugly

This is my reflection

So imperfect, so me

 

This is life

Tiring and refreshing

This is time

A burden unrelenting

 

These are my friends

My children, my life

These are my friends

So perfect, so right

 

And this is pain

And this is gain

And this is love

And this is hate

And this is trust

And this is my place

 

But first

Foremost

 

This is me.

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Written by
QSaint
American
Published
Apr 6, 2013
Lines·Words
152·674
Tags
#life#me#catharsis#self-hatred#self-acceptance
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