Life has made me bitter

Every proposal
Every instagram post
Every brag by a friend

I ignore the bitter taste in my mouth
swallow it instead
jealousy hides in my stomach
it tries to escape but I somehow force a smile

from the outside I look happy, hopeful
but my smile is masked by gritting teeth
my eyes start to glaze over
I pray no one notices that I'm no longer present in the conversation
because as they speak my jealousy begins to build
it builds so high I have two choices
change the subject or walk away
anything can be better than someone else's perfect relationship
especially when you're convinced you'll never find yours

life has made me bitter
it's my least favorite attribute