if you see him, tell him.
tell him i miss him.
tell him i forgive him.

tell him to let his guilt dissipate,
like the smoke from his cigarette;
tell him he knows
he can't just let it churn indefinitely there,
in his lungs.
tell him to exhale.

tell him i love him.
he knows, but tell him;
he needs reminding.

and tell him it's a feeling that
has never left me: not once,
not for a moment,
from then, when we first broke bread,
to now, when we shatter each other's
stares across the room full of people.

tell him our love was a miracle
that gave light to my soul,
confirming its once elusive vitality.

tell him how true it all was,
in spite of and yet because of everything:
the pain,
the laughter,
the ramblings,
the loneliness,
and the chins held high.