It hurts. It hurts to see him. It hurts to see him smile.
It hurts to see him sad and broken. Like I have been
And like I have made him many times before,
despite my intentions

It hurts to see him walking
because every time,
he’s walking away.

It hurts to see him go run in the rain.
Wishing I was the water droplets on his skin.
Because he found the joy in the thing most disliked
With the lightning and thunder chasing us
But that’s just me daydreaming now

It hurts to push past him in the hallway,
with his scent reminding me of all the time
That never was and couldn’t have been

It hurts to see her in the halls,
with the hoodie I used to call mine.

It hurts to know that I can’t be there for him.
When I know he needs it,
but he just doesn’t want it from me.

I want to love him, not manipulate and use him like she did.
Not try to change him into something that he’s not just for the benefit of my own,
like the other one did.

It hurts

It hurts to know that all of that is gone.
It hurts to know that I can dial the same number but it’s never going to ring

It hurts to know that I’m going to call him anyway.
Because breaking old habits is hard.

“The telephone number you have dialed is temporarily not in service.”