it feels weird knowing i am not with you knowing that we won’t be together for the rest of our lives like we once planned nursing homes and having our rooms next to each other is scratched out how from this point on we depart in a way you are too busy for me to make plans with too busy to call me too busy to text me and my mind is too busy sometimes too spiraling thoughts spiral more and i remember how we won’t be together that feels weird losing you in a way except the only one getting lost is me because you are perfect and you can’t get lost it still feels weird knowing i won’t be the one you ask for the homework anymore it feels weird that i don’t want it to be me it feels weird that i have been wanting to escape these friendships for a while now i am trying to take my opportunity but at the same time i don’t want to be rude i know what this situation feels like my skin is dry now from our most recent dry conversation i could not even force myself to laugh nothing was funny enough i am sorry that i dragged you down for so long that i dulled your shine that i wasn’t able to provide the same support that everyone else was able to it feels weird knowing that we are related now knowing that our friendship is complicated but still simple a little too simple simply complicated it feels weird now knowing that i won’t be there for you when it is your big first moments promposal first boyfriend or even homecoming it feels weird that i don’t want to mix you up with the new life that i am going to have that despite me having so much to talk to you about i didn’t want to tell you anything my mind no longer felt obligated to force my mouth to spill every little secret and detail that it was more comforting to say that it was too much and i did not want to talk about it it felt like torture but not your presence through a screen my own presence and my own breathing it felt weird i didn’t have the urge to want to have a sleepover with you anymore suddenly eating breakfast and brushing my teeth next to you wasn’t as appealing i would have rather stayed alone then done that you were too nice you couldn’t understand my feelings that is for sure have fun at your concert though i hope you find a cute boyfriend that treats you really well i hope you forget me i truly do i’m sorry i dragged you down so much sorry i was the negative in a magnet and a pregnancy test sorry i couldn’t be someone like you i hope you forget me and it feels weird knowing that i hope i forget you too
Have you ever lost someone mentally, yet you realize that it is better with them not there?