Aug 2019
I’ll be honest,
I miss staring into your eyes, my hand on your cheek, giggling because each word from your mouth was new and lovely.
I miss how every touch was a lightning storm with colors I'd never seen before.
Staying up until 2am because we just couldn’t help it
Asking questions we didn’t know the answers to
Talking long walks and finding “our spot”
Now there are less butterflies,
but that’s only because we’ve caught them.
They’ve settled down a bit and only take off when the weather’s right, but we’ve gained some things in their stead:
Trust that we can say and do anything and it will be met with understanding not judgement
Knowledge of the other's needs and wants and quirks
The desire to work together toward something bigger than ourselves
Security that we have chosen each other over and over again
And I’ll be honest again,
I don’t feel in love with you anymore.
Because being in love to me used to mean I couldn't hold back from kissing you and that the "I love you's" had to be grander and deeper each time.
But now I do hold back for the sake of our souls
and now I say “I love you”, but you already know.
The roller coaster has stopped and we’re going back home.
I am in love with you, but I’m adjusting to a new definition.
A love that isn’t butterflies crashing around in my belly until three in the morning.
It’s a love that is going to bed at 11 so we can go to church, a love that is cleaning the kitchen together, keeping up with each other’s families, listening and reminding each other of truth when it’s been a hard day, and knowing that our arguments won’t last.
I know the feelings are fleeting but the fact is we are always there for each other and we never get tired of being in each other's presence and that is all I need.
I miss staring into your eyes, my hand on your cheek, giggling because each word from your mouth was new and lovely.
I miss how every touch was a lightning storm with colors I'd never seen before.
Staying up until 2am because we just couldn’t help it
Asking questions we didn’t know the answers to
Talking long walks and finding “our spot”
Now there are less butterflies,
but that’s only because we’ve caught them.
They’ve settled down a bit and only take off when the weather’s right, but we’ve gained some things in their stead:
Trust that we can say and do anything and it will be met with understanding not judgement
Knowledge of the other's needs and wants and quirks
The desire to work together toward something bigger than ourselves
Security that we have chosen each other over and over again
And I’ll be honest again,
I don’t feel in love with you anymore.
Because being in love to me used to mean I couldn't hold back from kissing you and that the "I love you's" had to be grander and deeper each time.
But now I do hold back for the sake of our souls
and now I say “I love you”, but you already know.
The roller coaster has stopped and we’re going back home.
I am in love with you, but I’m adjusting to a new definition.
A love that isn’t butterflies crashing around in my belly until three in the morning.
It’s a love that is going to bed at 11 so we can go to church, a love that is cleaning the kitchen together, keeping up with each other’s families, listening and reminding each other of truth when it’s been a hard day, and knowing that our arguments won’t last.
I know the feelings are fleeting but the fact is we are always there for each other and we never get tired of being in each other's presence and that is all I need.
