You used to use it against me
You used to say
“You’ve changed”
“You aren’t the same person I fell in love with”
The pain
The blame
Of changing with your growing age
You used to smirk
After you flirted
After you insulted
After you won
I used to imagine what it would be like to kiss your thin pink lips
I thought I could predict the way you would kiss
The way the knives prickled off your tongue
Sharp
I am surprised they are not
Red with blood
You used to do a lot of things
You used to play god
But you kept forgetting your own rules
I
Was scared of your inconsistency
I
was scared of how much it took to get you to love me
I
Was always scared of something
And that something changes constantly

I
Used to
Be scared of you

I used to send you messages littered with
“I’m sorry”
And
“I love you”

We

Used to do a lot of things

But we don’t anymore

All the memories
All the ticks
Melted
With our friendship