we love differently, how can we understand, connect, when we are so dissimilar. a merry-go-round of constant negotiations, asks, and rejections, physical versus emotional, i initiate, you reject, our relationship spirals down, hits the ground, and consumes itself in a fireball of hurt and hate.

we are too different, you and i, the sun and moon, how do we live, fulfill, satisfy our many, complicated needs and wants.

i see the signs, know we are doomed, yet i play the game, half-hearted, going through the motions, never letting down my guard, of becoming one with you, i no longer trust, having been wounded, hurt, betrayed too many times, bracing, protecting myself from the inevitable pain

my head is no longer in the game. i have stopped playing, removed myself from the board, i have grown tired, hoping the next one will be different, repeating the same patterns of destruction, attracting the same damaged people, I recognized the lie, love is a mirage, the cynicism all too consuming, my heart has died