i'm a box
of oxymorons
contradicting and tripping over themselves
competing against themselves
to see who comes out on top
voices screaming in each ear
'look over there! no here!'
so loud
i cannot hear
the sound of my legs shaking
my heart aching
my mind breaking
over the things that i've done
is this what it feels like to know that you've won?
does that matter when you're also the one losing?