I wish I could tell you how broken I am. I wish I could tell you what this is doing to me. I want to tell you how broken I am. How unstable I am. How much I miss home. And most of all how it is your fault. You took me from what I loved the most. And who I loved the most. And it's hard to blame anyone. Maybe it isn't your fault. It isn't really anyones. Someone needed happiness more than I did. So I sacrificed
like always. I lied to make them happy. And now I can't go back. I'm stuck for another year. The fact that I am only halfway done kills me. I cry myself to sleep so much because I miss home. I want to go back. I second guess myself and say things weren't so bad because now they are just worse. They are worse in a much different way. I have met a few people that have made my entire life worth living, but nothing cam replace home. And now I have people from my past haunting me in my future. I hear their voices in my ear shouting their success and yelling my failures without using words. I just want to be home. I just want the comfort of home. I just want the safety of normalcy. My life is so different now and NOONE will ever understand that. But I have dug myself a hole so deep no rope will reach down and pull me out and no amount of strength can get me out of it