Approaching the day
Oh that day
Fate tempts
Yet I ignore it
Telling it
That was the past

Fear and excitement
This is something I can't escape from
No hiding
Pacing back and forth
Looking to the clock

Tick
       Tick
               Ticking

The days pass by
In the blink of an eye
Wait
I'm not ready
I'm not that strong
Not another year...

30....
Feeling my soul; so *****
Tainted
Dragging me down
To the depths of the unspeakable

1...
None, nothing
Inside I feel nothing
But everything all at once

2...
You raised me
Yet what do you know
Of my pain?

3...
A sea
Waves crashing down
Like everything I touch

4...
Knocking on the door
How could I do more?
I am in constant wonder

5...
Survive
That's all I have to do
Right?

6...
Fix
This
Mess

7...
Today is the day
Throw my life away
Or should I stay?

They sing
They dance
But they don't know

8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13...
14...

The day I planned
The day I longed for
Now fearing
Leering...

Plan ahead
Don't dread
It's all in your head
It's all in your head...

The past is the past
Don't cut the cord
It's not your place
To erase all you know

- Jay M
April 30, 2019