Raining
Droplets of red
Upon my head
As I cry
But it just won't stop

Keeping a wall of thorns
Decorated by the blood
Of those who tried to get through
You can't break through...
Don't let it get you, too...

An invisible hand
Tugging my strings
Pulling them tighter still
Killing me inside
Every breath battled for
Every step forced forward

Holding my head
Blood dripping to it
From my legs
From my arms...

Sleepless and so tired
Barely getting by
And every day
I ask; Why?

Growling at me
Snapping jaws
Scaring me
Into obedience

Elongated ears
Black hide
Slick, like tar
Muscled and lean
It awakens
And looks to me
With utter calm
And understanding
It stands
Dots of white for eyes
Guiding me to a tunnel
Dark and unknown
Then leaving me...

Lying on the floor of the bathroom
Trembling hands as I hold it
The sewing needle
Dragging it over my skin
Over and over
My light has long faded
Maybe never was
Dropping the needle

Grasping the cup
Drinking the soothing water
Then holding some
In my mouth
Pills in my other hand

Trembling

"I just want to be okay...
No more lying...
No more crying...
No more being the little failure..."

Delicately placing them in my mouth
Swallowing my poison
Now waiting
Fading
Hiding in the chill in my bones

Then I look up
Seeing the room spin
Go dark
Fade away from view
As I fall away...

Waking up in my bed
Alive
No blood oozing
No pills in my hand
No fading away to my rest...

Helpless, but I try anyway
Picking myself up
Dragging myself around
Because I know;

No matter how bad I get
There is always someone who cares...
Someone who would take my pain...
Never do I want them to take my burden
So I'll stay for them
Whomever they may be...

- Jay M
April 19th, 2019