your smile lights up my heart
it makes my heart race,
hands shake,
knees weak,
mind scramble,
and i get light headed.
all from a smile,
a smile i know isn’t mine,
but i would do anything to make it mine.
i see you walk off with her
everyday,
and i stand there.
wishing that it could be me
knowing that it isn’t.
you say you love me
but, do you?
or do you love the idea of me?
the thought that you want me
but you can’t have me.

now you have me
and you love someone else.
was i right or was this all a mistake?
why do i cut myself,
deeper and deeper everyday?
is it love or is it my ego?
unwilling to let go and unwilling to say anything.
this goes on for half a year
and i sit here.
plastering a fake smile and a fake love for you.
two can play at this game my dear