I want love,
I want support and kindness and peaches
and all the sugar that comes with love.
I want to know someone’s out there
who’s got my back,
who can push me up and let me pull them up.
I want a person who can tell me
that everything will be okay
without me ever doubting them.
I want the comfort of love;
the fluttery, butterflies-in-your-stomach
feeling you get,
like when you’re laying in bed
having just up next to someone,
someone gorgeous, someone lovely.
I want love,
but I’m scared.
I’m scared to love because
what if i fall too far,
what if I drag everyone down with me?
I don’t want to be stuck somewhere
with no place to go
and no one to talk to
but the monsters in my head;
they’re not very good company.
They hand me flowers,
with a sticky-sweet note,
then startle me and pretend
that it was my fault the vase slipped
out of my hands
and shattered all over the ground.
They make me walk
on the pieces of broken glass
just for fun.
They remind me that I’m not worthy of love,
that I should just accept that and move on.
I’d rather be alone
if the other option was to have them by my side.
I’m scared to love
In case everyone leaves me
and I’m stuck,
****** and broken hearted,
with the monsters.