Still at this hour I love you, when sleep removes itself from me.
In the dark I let my mind visit us when we were young, happy, unsoiled by the reality that life would strain and break us.

Early April of 2012 I remember the weekend we spent almost entirely on each other's company. Mostly just talking, knowing each other. Just a few weeks before your birthday and I learned you hated gifts. I miss learning about you. Always missing you.

With all honesty not a day has passed when you haven't come into my mind and heart since we last spoke. Always praying it's not the last time we will have spoken but I know in my heart it is true.

I understand why. But I still love you. And I'm always telling you I'm sorry when we meet in my head. I never wanted to hurt you. Just needed to be needed. I'm a selfish man and I'm sorry I never told you that. I was too young to understand you and too self absorbed to look beyond me.

This is always as far as I get, talking with you in my head. I can neither bear your rejection, nor your forgiveness. So I close my eyes and wish I could hug you. And I start over again...

Still at this hour I love you, when sleep removes itself from me...