dear attention,

I have a few words to say to you.
You caused me to grovel before the feet of others
and forced me on my knees in surrender to my fear.
You changed my heart into a fickle one,
I left you once and I came straight back.
I'm furious that I lost myself entirely to you
because no piece of me is my own anymore.
God opened a door and I shut it,
only thinking I wanted you and you alone.
I wanted you so badly, but I never received you.
Because I couldn't obtain you, I desired you.
I put you before myself, before everyone else.
I forgot that I do not need you to tell me what I'm worth,
I am stronger than this, I told myself.
I didn't need you.
But whenever I look at you, and see what I don't have,
my heart fills with jealousy all the more.

I wish I could leave you completely,
but I'm thankful God opened the door again after I closed it.