They tell me about craft beers and climbing the world to sip on adventure - to understand and praise what we sip and why we sip. Wisps of hair and crinkled eyes, I begin to blush inside. The glint of forever gleams off your finger and I want to bury my ideas with you - if only we met sooner, another time, a different world, good luck.
You sit there, swimming in man made pools of bourbon - clutching her hand - and I pray; bite my lip and grip my heart that you don't drown my sunflower. That you survive and she grows...remembers to grow...that I don't ****.
She storms in, screaming songs of thunder and lighting the room with rage. Powerful, I think to myself, as you slander the cursed perceptions of your own insecurities. The dull lamp sinks me further into the couch, harboring lonesome anxiety. Sometimes I am scared to speak and say what you are avoiding hearing. No more.
You're running towards me, my name echoing from your lips past the stretch of concrete between us - kissing warmth into my mind. I want to explode into stars with you and never part again, fix all the cracks I made. My arms cradle your soul, for one last time, and the disappointment of my distance slices our cracked hands: I'm sorry I wasn't there.
He interrupts our conversation from a foot away, through someone else. I smile, coward. You still fear what I was to you, even in the onset of something new. I wonder if meeting your eyes will change this strange silence. But I close them instead and hum my own dance until I remember your lurking body. Silent, silent silent, as I scream at myself.
Everything died, but your mornings have just started. You all know nothing of the bottomless gin and shards of glass I ripped my eyes out with. Wandering down to the steaming coffee and banter on daily dissatisfaction - I become lava. No...dripping blood. Slowly, so thick it travels centimeter by millimeter tainting the surface below. Surprising its peers, fearful for some. And you ask, hey are ok?