I was not made to be broken.

Despite everything I have fought tooth and nail to be here and I am scarred, bruised, limping and screaming fire.

I will not fall but I know I will, and it will be for love because I am a fool. I cannot love that which loves me - I get bored. anxious. wounded. I wish I could have stayed. So many times. So many times have I screamed for me to just be ok with what I have.

Yet I never was, so I burned it and ran before it burned me. My anxiety for possible destruction is what destroyed the life I had. Maybe I miss it sometimes but it was lacking, lacking for the submission and ambition I crave so desperately and yet can never achieve because of my nature.

I run towards more fire and I don't know if I can survive. I truly am weak to it. I need to fix myself and I am trying but I need help. Even if I did, I could never go back, even if I wanted to.

If this is your curse to me, combined with hers, then alright.

I deserve this.

and I will fall.

again.