Dec 2018
I woke up because of my alarm.
I woke up in my warm bed.
As I was laying there my door opened.
As I was laying there my mom walked in.
She asked me if I am okay.
She asked me why I was so quite.
How could I tell her that I don't want to live.
How could I do that to her a second time.
She was sitting there next to me on my bed.
She was talking to me there on my bed.
And all I could think about was, how do I tell her.
And all I could do was nothing, because I don't want to hurt her.
And as she was talking to me, my bed started to cool down.
And as she was talking to me, I hoped she would stop talking about this.
Because it was hurting me.
Because it was to painful to talk about.
All I want to be was just to be dead.
All I want to be was just to be happy once more.
I woke up in my warm bed.
As I was laying there my door opened.
As I was laying there my mom walked in.
She asked me if I am okay.
She asked me why I was so quite.
How could I tell her that I don't want to live.
How could I do that to her a second time.
She was sitting there next to me on my bed.
She was talking to me there on my bed.
And all I could think about was, how do I tell her.
And all I could do was nothing, because I don't want to hurt her.
And as she was talking to me, my bed started to cool down.
And as she was talking to me, I hoped she would stop talking about this.
Because it was hurting me.
Because it was to painful to talk about.
All I want to be was just to be dead.
All I want to be was just to be happy once more.
She came into my room, to talk with me. she noticed that is was being down a lot lately. She wanted to talk with me, but all I could think of, was the avoid the talking with her. because I don't want to talk about it with her. It will only hurt her even more if she knew what was really going on inside of me. How can I tell her, while I know it will tear her apart.
