What would it feel like to delve my fists into the wall,
and not feel a thing.
Would my heart burst into flames or flowers?
Would I gush out blood or glitter?

I’ve always said that I feel nothing.
I am numb and I am fine,
but my heart is filled with butterflies,
and they feel every lie.

I’d never want to stop feeling.
Numbness is a dark place,
and my heart is so much kinder in the sun.

I’ve never really seen myself smile,
or maybe I forgot how.
I’ve been stuck in a storm for as long as I remember.
Black clouds guide me from above,
sometimes I see the sun peak out,
but I’m blinded by its path.

So I linger under the darkness,
and wonder what it would be like, to be the wall,
And not feel a thing,
to blend like milk into the blandness of everyone's day,
and eventually disappear.