what do you see in me?
i wish i knew
how many times have we talked
and i’ve denied compliments
from fear of lying to you?
the ways i think that i
that i tricked you into thinking of me
in a way that makes me seem
like i’m valid
i think in the night
about how disgusting i am
and how you could easily do so much better
our relationship feels like
a queen guiding a peasant by the hand
trying to show him
things worth going on for
i wish i could say i was worth your time
but i know myself
and the failure i am and will be
for the rest of my life
and how no individual
no matter how outstanding
can ever help me be enough
for someone as great as you
because my broken mess of a spirit
could never find the will or strength
to think i am important
and so i wish for you
never to see me for the creature i am
never to dig deeper
never to look beyond
for i am just a man
and you are a goddess
who deserves so much more than me
and what i can give to you
cuz i have too many problems
and i cannot solve them
the feelings that i have, ****
i wish i never caught them
cuz i’m setting up for loss
and i will pay for the cost
i’ve been left behind in the cold
and i have died within the frost
cuz they always seemed so kind
until they see you lose your mind
so do not dig deeper in me
because i know exactly what you’ll find
you’ll see this anxious mess
who is so tired of being depressed
he couldn’t wrap his head around his life
so he has a broken neck
i know you’re sweet
but trust doesn’t come to me easily
cuz i was open so much before
but what the **** did that get me?
even if i care about you
i can’t find it in myself
to show you how to care about me
so i will lie here
and suffer under the mask
and try to convince you
that i am more
than just a man