i haven't been answering to your messages
or anyone's for that matter
i don't feel like talking
reminiscing of a time that used to be
i'm lonely
no more best friends
no more real laughter
no more being a kid
you're older now
grow up
i'm sorry i haven't responded
but i was having tea with myself in the shower
step into my life
drink up the loneliness
see the sadness crawling in my heart
feel the cold water envelope my body
focusing on the lines on my skin
i haven't been me lately
i've done things that i would never do
like drinking alcohol in the middle of school
feel it dripping off my lips
dancing around
it tasted like cough medicine
healing the sickness inside my bones
my mind screaming
is it really wrong if it feels good?
i see the world differently
i've been wanting to hurt everyone i see
it's not them as people
but just me being jealous that they can be so happy
while i'm sitting in the corner
making friends with the shadows
fingers dancing on the walls
eyes closing with the idea
that i could ever be loved
i'm broken
can't you see the shattered glass in me?
feel it against my skin
feel it in my throat
feel it in my heart
and in my lungs
i haven't felt the pleasure of breathing in so long
it makes me wonder if i'm even alive?
am i?