Do you know those Christmas Letters?
The one's that people love to send
The one's that make the family
Just feel like they're a friend

We get them every Christmas
And we cringe when they arrive
They make me want to  have a few
And go and drink and drive

I'd sooner jump off of a cliff
Than send these letters to
My friends and yes, my family
I hope that you would too

I don't care if you planted mums
or if the cat gave birth in May
You can phone if it's important
If you've got something good to say

I don't need to read a journal
Of every thing you did last year
If I really truly counted
You'd phone me up so I could hear

I like a card at Christmas time
But the letters have to end
don't even send them by e-post
Think twice and don't hit send

Next year I may send one myself
Something I've not done before
It's gonna be a long one
It will start in sixty four

So, please, although I love you
and I want you in my life
Don't send me Christmas journals
They're too heavy for my wife!!!