the sky above didn't seem so beautiful anymore,
it was grey
all
the time,
it broke into pieces that fell on top of my head when i walked home school.
sometimes i would sit on the curb of my street,
wandering how many bandaids it'd take to fix the only thing that's been keeping breathing.

i can't do this on my own.
i've tried to fix my mind by myself for years and years and every time i think i'm getting better,
the thoughts and voices come back louder than last time.
i can't do this on my own.
mother, father, sister, brother, friends,
thank you for your endless love and warmth but
there are voices you can't silence,
there are wounds that i need someone to help me heal.
i can't do this on my own.

my head and sky continues to stay grey and gloomy.
i used to like this weather but as the air gets colder,
i both get excited to wear my autumn clothes and feel like the life has been ****** out of me
and i don't know why.
how could i be happy and sad at the same time?