i am a bomb.
tick tick ticking.
i am neutral as of now
who knows when i'll explode
taking everyone near me out, too.

im so sorry for all the pain
i have brought upon you.
im so sorry for always making you worry.
im so sorry for never being stable.
i know its annoying when
you have to constantly check
and double check
and triple check
that im safe
and doing as well as can be.
i know the dry replies are hard to work around.
when i don't have the mental capacity
to hold a single ******* conversation.
"yeah"
"lol"
"ok"
its hard for me, too.

im so ******* scared of being alone.
i can hardly function with the support i have,
how the **** will i do it on my own?
the answer is simple :
i wont.

i will give up on myself
just as everyone else has.
i will collapse into the dirt
moldy and rotten
a corpse of empty emotion.
and nobody will dig me up.