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Sep 2018
She knows who she is
Maybe I was her first heartbreak
Girlfriend? No, best friend?
I thought so.
Only eight (and a half)
At recess I was alone
At lunch I was told to got to the bathrooms
It was as if all the crows had come
For their daily bread
I was their daily bread
I was being told about how I
had said awful things about the girl I didn't know
The ringleader was my 'best friend'
I didn't remember saying those things
I did remember about how last Summer
A bird had gotten stuck in the air vents
in the same bathroom
It's corpse sat there for months, rotting away
All of a sudden I envied the corpse
I felt my heart sitting next to belly button
The first of many times I would feel my heart break
Then it had been a fortnight
I waited outside her classroom every day after school
but the crows would always come and take her away
After a month it was the school disco
It smelled like sweaty plastic and adrenaline
We were avoiding each other
She knew she had lied and the crows attacked me
because of her little rumour
On the way to the disco her Mother
who I shared my mother's pasta recipe with
who braided my hair so many times
who painted my nails on my birthday
Yelled at my parents about their disgusting
eight year old (and a half)
while I sat there in the backseat and listened
Once again I envied the rotting bird
I saw her Mum at that disco
I felt my heart drop again,
by now I was used to the feeling

At the time I was so furious with her
for spreading those rumours
Now I pity her
I wonder what she must have been going through
In order to drive her only friend away
Maybe she also felt her first heartbreak that week
Maybe she envied the rotting bird corpse in the bathroom
Maybe she was just trying to distract the crows
waiting for their daily bread.
As summary my best friend spread nasty rumours about me and all my friends (the crows) left me and didn't believe me
I was then bullied at that school and ended up changing school the next year. I'm aware this is bad but the words kinda just spewed out of me and I couldn't stop them.
For some reason the image of the rotting bird has always stuck with me
and i remember so vividly having so much empathy for the poor thing
Written by
       Cné, Nsmith15, sky-blue and ---
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