The scars on my hips have
withered away but still bear
the weight I have gained
and even if they are
"happy pounds"
I am not feeling the joy
of ******* the burden in
because I am too proud to
admit I have gone up two sizes
and no matter how hard I try
to take the weight off
my shoulders (stomach)
I only have the self control to
play games inside my own head
as if starving myself one day
will lead to skinniness the next,
as if I haven't led myself
down this path of destruction once before.