happiness occurs to me in little chunks now. the tiny things in life are giving me a smile. a long text message from a friend to cheer me up. having a good day. feeling happy. genuine, real, smiles.
i can't help but feel so guilty when i'm happy. like all my pain and suffering is being replaced with a fake smile i try to say no. that i can be happy while i'm sad. but i still feel guilty for feeling this way.