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Aug 2018
I feel like Imma side dude
I've never been put in this type of situation
I can't see you when I want to
and it's not because your schedules conflicted
It's because your restricted,
constricted with her suspicions
and it's not fair cuz she always gets to see you; a clear vision
but y’all not together..............

We can't go out together
cuz someone might see us and tell her
but why does that matter?
cuz y’all not together............

I can't come around your family and chill like I want to
and be around more cuz she might come thru.
But y’all not together..........

We can't talk on the phone sometimes and when we do sometimes you click on me
**** sometimes we can't even text and when we do it bothers her so you can't even send emojis.
But y’all not together........

And I swallow my pride because I wanna be with you
but I don't think you understand how I feel
I have super trust issues
And it ***** me up seeing y'all, like is this even real?
But then why am I tripping
if y’all not together......

What if one of my exes stayed with me, play fought, was jus always around me and slept in the same bed.
and I say “it's ok baby me and her, we're not together....”
You can't say it wouldn't mess with your head

And the thing that hurts the most is that I feel like you’re more considerate of her feelings than mine.
You rather not "get in trouble" or upset her and have my feelings in decline.
But y’all not together..

**** hurts. This Love hurts.
Y’all not together but in proximity are always close
We're together apparently but how can together feel so alone?
And the crazy thing about this whole ordeal is that all that hurt that I hide from you alwayz goes away when I see you or when
we're together.

I love you so much
And with all the things I said and how you make me feel.....
It makes me wonder if this is even real,
if you really, genuinely love me too. If you wanna be together
Or are you still in love with her and just not together?
Inspiration: a past love, this is how you made me feel Arielle wherever you are
Bartholomew
Written by
Bartholomew  28/M/San Francisco
(28/M/San Francisco)   
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