I can feel the oceans inside the skin under my eyes
I can feel the pain that tints my cheeks
I can feel the unsettling feeling of being lost
I can feel everything
but I understand nothing,
I feel lost
like I'm trapped under water
with a thin sheet of ice above me
and I'm trying to breathe
but it hurts
because my lungs are restricted by my blood
my roots making me sink even deeper
roots that have implanted me in the depths of the ocean
by faith
not by me
I kick with my feet and throw my weak fists in the bubbles created  by my deep breaths
and I try to scream but it echoes inside my lungs
its as if my body knows I'm already drowning
'there is no use', its as if it understands why no one should hear those screams
its like my body knows that I don't want to live in it
sometimes I feel like
when I kiss you
my hands tremble
and I sink deeper
I look into your eyes
I scream into my lungs
I should love you, why do I not love you?
why is my heart mistaken?
why am I still trapped under a label?
If I cant feel am I still human?