a journey through the home i lived in and the family inside it.
dinner on the table,
me eating a whole bowl of strawberries and falling asleep to whatever cartoon that was on tv,
elementary school homework,
and helping my mother putting up halloween decorations outside and inside of our home.
i would fall asleep with a full stomach and a smile on my face as my heavy eyelids slowly closed with every leaving thought.
years went by and things that were done before were no longer.
this house turned into slammed doors and nights of me sitting on the stairs hearing  yells and the screaming.
waking up with puffy eyes and a puffy face only to feel absent and not entirely There as i wrote down notes at school.
there was still hope.
i would fall asleep with worry.
years came and went and by the time i knew it all i knew where pencil sharpener blades and how to make myself drown out the shaking house.
i lost myself in my sleep as i was tangled in my sheets,
trying to make myself forget with pills.
i could feel the world on my shoulders and i wanted to cut the string that was keeping me alive.