I look at different people all day I admire them from afar and take notes I dress as them and try to fit in I’ve learned makeup It’s all I being doing lately I try to look nice and try outfits more open that what is usual I enjoy it but I don’t feel pretty or happy I feel numb My parents don’t noticed the change They’re only happy that I’ve been acting like a “girl” I want to impress strangers that will never matter I try to get boys to notice me despite the fact I’m not straight I don’t know why I think it’s because I want someone to notice me Maybe even like me I don’t know Maybe it’s because I want something Something to replace the numbness I know it sounds stupid to vent about such a subject But right now it’s what has taken over my life I don’t know what to do To make it better
I don’t really know but I’ve been going through some stuff but I feel like this is a good place to get it out