they say in life
everyone has their first love
their great love
and their true love

he was late night parties
weekdays of loneliness
games and teasing with a smile
he knew every button to press
anger like spring rain
beautiful but messy
sloppy rain drops cut into my skin
I knew I would never be enough

he was innocence entangled
shy syropy sweetness
summer sweat on his skin
vanilla and steel, always cold
best friends over lovers
intensity met with nervous laughter
every night confined to tedium
I knew I would always want too much

you had shown me something
I never even knew I could feel
you gave the way love ought to be given
autumnal warmth surrounding me
leaving behind fire for more
inspiration, honesty, and conversation
your mind weaves gold silk
and maybe I could be enough