One day...

One day the anger won't be so hot.
I will subside from being mad at you leaving.
I will have compassion for you instead.
I will lessen my hurt and change it into a beautiful masterpiece.
I will recreate my anger into art.
And that art, that ******* art, will be the most beautiful art I create.

One day the sadness won't be so darkening.
I will be able to breathe from the fact you left too soon.
I will not hide behind you, depression.
I won't **** myself in spite of you.
I won't live in fear anymore.

One day the shame and guilt won't swallow you so whole.
I won't hold myself to everything you said.
I will understand we all **** up.
I will be able to recede the waves from swallowing me whole.

One day god will take me from everything I hold whole, and recreate me.
But not today, not tomorrow, not 5 years from now.